Posted on Mar 16, 2022 These 131 Hysterical Tweets Are Some Of The Only Things That Have Gotten Me Through 2022 So Far "Told a guy I had body dysmorphia and he said, 'I love sci-fi.'" by Ajani. Short Funny Quotes 1. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. 2. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. 3. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? 4. If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you. 5. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. 6.
Therefore, here you have short funny quotes about life - so you can expand your life. The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest. Life is short…smile while you still have teeth. Today I will be as useless as the letter "g" in lasagna. I'm best served with coffee and a side of sarcasm. I drink to make other people more interesting. "Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else." - Will Rogers "Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway." - Gilbert Gottfried "If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable - but not as miserable." - Larry David "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
Here are 60 short and funny motivational quotes to help brighten your day: 60 Short & Funny Motivational Quotes 1. "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water." - Unknown 2. "Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese." - Billie Burke 3.
Short Funny Quotes 1.) "Fifty shades of tired." 2.) "Some people are such treasures you just want to bury them." 3.) "My alone time is for everyone's safety." 4.) "If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on." 5.) "Don't be ashamed of who you are. That's your parents job." 6.) "May be you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too."
New Slang Words And Phrases Created By Social Media In 2022 | by Anthony Lam | Writers' Blokke | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. Refresh the page, check Medium 's site.
If your funny t-shirt sayings can make one of these cynical quacks crack a smile, they might also crack open their wallets. You. Offend. Me Not a Prince. Not Charming. Don't talk to me. Ever. I can see you. That's a problem. If you're reading this, stop. Put your eyes on something that cares. Why aren't you bowing? Unamused. Do better. Go away…
Life is short…smile while you still have teeth. The hardest thing I ever tried is being normal. Today I will be as useless as letter "g" in lasagna. I love my job only when I'm on vacation. Do EPIC shit. I do a thing called "What I want". I always prefer my puns to be intended. My stomach is flat, the L is just silent.
Latest Funny Sayings for the Year 2022 / 2021 You reap the rewards of hard work in the future. But you reap the benefits of laziness right here and now… It's really snowflake times when people get offended even at compliments. What has the society gotten to? Only yesterday I complimented somebody on a lovely mustache and she was beside herself!
The best funny New Year's quotes for 2023 1. "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." —F. Scott Fitzgerald 2. "Good resolutions are simply checks that.
"It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets." — William Thomas "My New Year's resolution list usually starts with the desire to lose between 10 and 3,000 pounds." — Nia Vardalos "New Year's.
Before I agree to 2022, I need to see some terms & conditions. An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. ~Bill Vaughan I can't wait to control-alt-delete 2021, and start anew. Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness. ~William Shakespeare
6. Keep looking up, there may be a rainbow waiting for you. 7. "When I'm too big for you to hold, I'll hold you instead.". - Ashlyn, age 5. 8. "If you listen very quietly, it sounds like the rain is playing music in the grass and the trees.". - Gideon, age 6. 9.
Here are our favorite short New Year's quotes. "You can get excited about the future. The past won't mind." ―Hillary DePiano "Every moment is a fresh beginning." —T.S. Eliot "The year is going, let him go; ring out the false, ring in the true." - Alfred Lord Tennyson "New Year's Day. A fresh start. A new chapter waiting to be written."-
1. "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." -Muhammad Ali 2. "You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last.
Wednesdays are the middle finger of the week Image by Wenzdai Figueroa 5. Don't read the next sentence. You rebel. I like you 6. I'm gonna need you to be strong today… I whisper to my coffee 7. My.
Alternatively, you can add it to an Instagram caption to make people smile or write it on a Post-It for a pick-me-up. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.". — Thomas Eddison. "If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big." —Donald Trump.
4. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made." —Joan Rivers. 5. "Do not take life too seriously. You will never.
2. "Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos."—Stanley Hudson, The Office. 3. "Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there."—Will Rogers. 4."All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence — then success is sure."—Mark Twain.
"One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day. Don't clean it up too quickly." — Andy Rooney You could totally write this quote as a funny.
This yearbook quote is both funny and inspiring. Some great life advice here. 16. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm black" - Nick Jenkins Bored Panda Can't disagree with this quote. 17. "I hate my name." - Carlos Carlos Bored Panda We can certainly sympathize with poor old Carlos Carlos.
Funny New Year Messages May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions. All I wish to get drunk and dance with you all night long on this 31st night, Happy New Year! Wishing you a successful 12 months, a Joyful 52 weeks, lovely 365 days, a memorable 8760 hours, blessings of 525600 minutes and the happiest 31536000 seconds.
You can boost morale in the workplace by sharing a message about the upcoming weekend. Here are some funny work quotes to consider: "Friday makes Monday worth it." — Andy Atticus. "Music always sounds better on Friday." — Lou Brutus. "Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek.
New Year New Me ntal Issues : (. "Here's to hoping that 2023 is a year full of laughter, love, and all the good stuff (and none of the bad stuff).". "Wishing you a New Year that's bubbly, sparkly, and full of all the things that make you smile.". "May 2023 be the year that all your wildest dreams come true.". "Happy New Year!
Funny quotes about professional time. Many professionals understand the value of time management, which can make this topic a good source for humorous quotes. Here are 15 quotes about the importance of time that may prompt your colleagues to smile: "I like work: It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours." — Jerome K. Jerome
Funny Happy New Year. "Have told so many friends "Don't worry, New Year will be better! ". I love misguiding people.". Nitya Prakash. "New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.". James Agate. "I would quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then.
Here are some March quotes to stay inspired throughout the year. "You have reached in the third month of the New Year, it is still not late to plane the year.". "It is March, you have total 31 days bring positive changes in to life.". "Enjoy little things in life, enjoying coming of March.". "Keep going.".
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